November 14, 2010 In California

sunday strangers

I have been relishing in my last few Napa weeks, going for runs, walks, wanders in the morning in what’s been an insanely warm and just absolutely gorgeous balmy few days in November. I’ve also been working a ton to get some loot in the bank account. Buying 3,000 miles worth of gas for my upcoming cross-country trek is not cheap. I went to bed on Friday night at 8:40pm (I know- I’m living on the EDGE!) I’ve been just loving floating about, relaxing, waking up to grapevines and being thankful for my learning experience and time in wine country. This will certainly go in the books as yep, I’ve even worked a harvest season in Napa- how cool!

While I was working today, I met a spunky older woman who’s a college professor. She made me look quiet, boring and shy. This woman has the energy to light a fire to something when she walks by it. I was playing hostess and we got to chatting with another girl I work with. It didn’t take long for the worlds of “Do it, do it while you can, if I could ever go back and have gone, moved, done more traveling, etc. before there were mortgages, kids and all- I would have.” I have heard these words a million times over. Always from extremely accomplished, much older and well respected people. These words from this spunky stranger today made me and my coworker, who I have a lot in common with, very happy. (Not that I need permission to go and do you know that I’ll do what I want regardless of what anyone says.) It’s nice to hear words like those from someone who’s lived long enough to know better after going some places and doing plenty of things.

I’m excited. Like really excited. I know you all read about a lot of things that “excite” me, but the excitement I feel now is an true excitement for life, work and possibility that I have not felt for about 4 years. I didn’t realize until my time here how much of a tough, but needed growing phase I’ve been in these past few years. I feel like me again, but even better. Just ready to take the world by storm, knowing what I want and being able to actually vocalize it.

On a bonus note, I had a comment from a new blog follower today, a return email from a business owner who’s website I found and complimented her company (I told her I’d love to work with her!) and an after work cocktail at this gorgeous green hotel and spa with a new friend who I’m quite convinced in the short time we’ve known each other- will be one of those lifer pals.

Now that’s what I call a Sunday Funday!

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November 12, 2010 In Uncategorized

decisions, decisions

Life is one big fat adventure right? You never know what’s going to pop up and say “OOH! Pick me!”-or when you will hear nothing but silence. As one of my readers commented recently “It’s always feast or famine with you isn’t it Diane?”

That makes me giggle.

Well, I suppose so. I choose to think of “it” as one big ol’ feast though. There’s never been famine in my life. I’m constantly feasting on experiences, mistakes, food, people, places, opportunity and so much more. Some think I’m crazy, some think I’m great, some think I’m an immature fool. I’m just happy being me. I’ve tried to be other people. It never works.

In a moment of frustration some weeks ago with my schizophrenic decision process of should I stay (in California) or should I go now and trying to manage the advice and input of way too many people, (even though I have known what I wanted to do since leaving NYC in July), I told my Mother on the phone that I know I might infuriate some people all to hell, I know I might make lots of mistakes or look like a nutcase sometimes, but I’m just living my truth. I can guarantee if my funeral was tomorrow not one single person would feel a bit sorry for me. People know that I have LIVED. I know I have LIVED. That makes me happy.

Her best Mom ever and agreeing response; “That’s right darlin’.”

Learning about who you really are, accepting who you are and feeling fully confident about it is no easy task. I work on it every day. I’d like to say I feel a bit wiser or confident because of my age (you know, all that “when you get to a certain age” stuff) but I really think that my drive to Alaska this summer and time here in California this fall, in a whopping total of 4 months- have shown me more of who I am and what I know for sure than the previous almost 32 years of my life have. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around this. I’t been a surprising but welcomed discovery.

A couple of these “know for sure” things:

1.) When you have a burn to do something, a thought or thing that wont go away- you’re a fool if you don’t do it. Not to get all Field of Dreams on everyone here, but for real?- If you build it, try it, go for it- it will come. You MUST trust your gut and your instincts. You simply cannot fail if you put your true heart and soul into something.

2.) It’s pretty safe to say, you will always flop, fail, be unhappy, and have regrets in if you don’t trust your gut and your instincts; With every choice you make.

Saying this, my journey continues as originally planned- back east in a few weeks. The total bummer of this story is that In a miniscule amount of time at a job I have had in California, I have 100% fallen in love with the crew of people I work with. I hope they will be my friends forever. A crew like mine here are a rare find and not an easy one to leave, but instinct- all that heart gut, and opportunity tell me east right now so that’s the direction the little Civic that could will go. So? I wrap up a most lovely harvest fall season working in Napa Valley wine, and never forget my time here. I will think of this experience and these people any time I question my decisions. Most doubt quickly fades when I’m reminded that I’m making my decisions based on the most important things.

Thank you to all who have stuck by me as friends, family and followers during the “rat race” (as my Mother has lovingly called it since submitting a few words and a baby photo to the yearbook my senior year in high school.) You know I don’t forget people. I love you for loving me.

Let the race continue…

***Most importantly for today: THANK YOU TO ALL MILITARY MEN AND WOMEN. Special shout out to my friends Andrew and Alex. Hats off a million times over.

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