Today is the day Tag

my. very. big. news!

Does a few days mean 2+ months to you? I didn’t think so, me either. But life always steps in, and here we are again so long between posts, even though I promised you some very big news “in a few days,” – back on August 25th.

(Let’s be real…it’s probably always going to be like this. We all wish there were more hours in a day:)

So, onto the VERY BIG NEWS!

For about the past 20 years, I’ve been told I would be an amazing one, that I would “love it” and that it would be a perfect fit for me. I always said, nah, I don’t think I want that. I really rejected the idea of this thing for a very long time for no good reason.

Then? Over the past several years and many many experiences, added to the place I’ve grown to now, a huge shift has happened, so I can’t believe I am sharing this with you all, but…

I’M GETTING MY REAL ESTATE LICENSE!!!

You didn’t think I was going to tell you I was pregnant, did you?

(HA! I had to mess with you there leading into this news because so many throughout my life have told me they wished I had babies.)

Yes, it’s OFFICIAL! I have finished my real estate classes and I’m just 1 test away from being able to help you rent, buy, or sell a home! (And yes, anywhere in the country, but I’ll get more into that in a later post.) By the time you’re stuffing your face with Thanksgiving turkey, this Blue Lollipop Road will be a licensed agent.

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP?!

Insert nerd alert photo shoot here with me and my slim 886 page book. Crazy face included:

Do you notice anything in these photos you haven’t seen on me before?

Take a minute to do a little Where’s Waldo-ing.

In the meantime, I will say that I’m THRILLED to jump in and now be able to handle the last piece of what I haven’t been professionally/legally able to handle for clients during the big life transition processes I have been managing all these years…

the HOUSE piece! (Condo, apartment, etc. included.)

I’ve been a part of real estate transactions each week for years and years at this point through proximity/planning/osmosis during client projects, and I’ve seen the really good, the really bad, and the very, very ugly. It’s been frustrating at points to not have my license to be able to directly help friends, family, and clients through and with renting, buying, or selling. The good thing is, it’s at least been a little easier for me to be involved on this next level real estate thing over the past couple years, since my husband is a broker.

Did she just say…HUSBAND?!

Yep.

(I asked you if you saw anything different on me in the above photos. There’s a ring on my finger:)

I GOT MARRIED!!!

Well hot diggity, there’s big exciting news coming from every direction now!

(If you look closely, there are 2 blue lollipops in my bouquet.)

We were married exactly a YEAR ago, (see date in the sand?) in a tiny town in South Carolina with only 1 other person in the room (the one who was marrying us), on a Friday morning with a slight chill in the air, then drove straight to Hilton Head Island where we had been engaged a few months earlier. The goal was to have toes in the sand with bubbly in hand by sunset, and it turned out perfect. Beach, bubbles and sunset were the only things we planned, and strong mojo took care of the rest, including temperatures warming throughout the day, and the one random stranger walking on the beach who took these amazing photos with our old iPhone. All we said was “Hi! We just got married! Would you mind taking a few photos? Just quick shots…whatever you think. Thanks!”

How fabulous that a few snaps on a cell phone could’ve captured such a special day so beautifully.

One other little addition to the wedding day story to illustrate how mojo works? We had written vows and said them to each other that morning when we actually got married, and wanted to read them to each other again alone when we made it to the beach and popped our bubbles. We made it to the resort and out to the beach, set up our blanket, bubbles in hand, and Jason read his vows to me again, then I read mine to him. At the EXACT moment I finished my words, and we said cheers! – a huge roar of clapping and woo-hoo-ing erupted behind us from the place we were staying. There was another couple getting married that day at the event venue, and we had seen them upon our arrival setting up. As we were making our way out to the beach, it looked like they were about to start. They must’ve hit their “And now you may kiss the bride!” moment, right as we finished our second reading of our vows, too, sitting on our blanket in the sand. It was such a cool moment.

I love, love.

We never made any kind of formal announcement about getting hitched, so there you have it, 1 year later, coupled (see what I did there?) with a huge professional update/real estate licensure news!

We thought we may have a big huge happy shindig celebration in July this past summer, but you know…COVID, so we shall see what the future holds as far as us all shin-digging together to officially toast our marriage. This might be a long series of micro-shindigs. We’re good with that. We love good old fashioned quality time with friends and family in small groups.

My husband’s name is Jason. We grew up in the same Vermont small town, but didn’t even know each other or meet until the summer of 2017. I lived and traveled around the country and globe all those years, and my person not only ends up being from my same town, but I met him there, too?

Tell me you don’t believe in the mojo (magic) that can happen.

I’m one excited cookie to now be able to take all my collective years of life and professional experience, team up with Jason, and his, and help so many people reach the place and lifestyle they want.

Oh yeah…and that whole anniversary celebrating thing today as well of course.

A toast:

To staying open, and curious, and always learning. To not being afraid to walk away from something to walk to the next. To getting creative, to loving your work, and to chasing dreams. To following your heart and finding your best friend. To respecting the clock, to letting love rule, and to always keep looking up.

Cheers!

#TodayIsTheDay #AlwaysLookingUp #LifeOutsideTheDroneZone

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some very. big. news

Hello YOU and hello summer! (Even though we are almost at the end of it already.)

How does time fly and stand still?

We managed to escape to the beach for our birthday week! Going unplugged from work when you work for yourself, in what always seems to feel 24/7… is the best.

Of course we had to get a photo at the LOVE YOU wall outside the good ol’ Piggly Wiggly during a bike ride, like everyone else on one of our favorite islands:

…which leads me to some VERY big news.

Not yet, though.

Stay tuned here for my next post that’s coming in a few days. Get ready! It will knock your socks off:)

#TodayIsTheDay #LifeOutsideTheDroneZone #HopToIt

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bursting at the seams

My mother says I talk too fast. A little over 10 years ago, I remember hearing back from mom after leaving a message for her. (The good ol’ home phone, still kicking since 1978):

Honey, I’ve been your mother for 30 years and I still cannot understand you on the answering machine!

Mom isn’t the only one who says I talk fast. If the words, thoughts, ideas, and excitements that run through my brain in a 24 hour period were Olympic track athletes, they’d win gold for being the fastest, every single day. “You must be from The North” is a regular (correct) assumption, and “You should take some valium/smoke some weed/lay off the coffee” are regular suggestions as well.

If they only knew I worked for Red Bull during my 20’s and never even needed or drank the stuff to be a part of the Mobile Energy Team! (I did actually have a few vodka Red Bull cocktails that time our boss showed up in a limo fully stocked for a night out. Free drinks, friends, and a fancy car with a hired sober driver. I had my moment feeling like a Hollywood kid on prom night.)

I think I’ve been asked if I was on a speedball about 55,000 times.

I have the opposite of writers block. Too many words and too much energy I’ve been told. When I sit down to write here, there are so many things I want to say, and so many opinions, life hacks, thoughts, and ramblings I want to share, that I start, and my writing goes in 100 directions because I’ve waited too long. (Translation; not allowed myself the time/not taken the time, fallen into workaholic mode again, not shut my cell phone off enough, taken care of everyone else first, etc.) So my posts (book) end up in my drafts folder.

That friggin drafts folder!

It’s your own fault, sister.

As I call myself out publicly here again, for not gifting myself nearly enough time to do what I love the most until I start bursting at the seams, I hope you’ll take a little quiet time to think about what’s eating you up inside, and figure out a way to start feasting.

My favorite silent moments to recalibrate are during sunset each night:

(Yes, those are flowers in a vintage Cowboys juice glass. You’ll have to ask me about that time I married a huge Dallas fan.)

I’m stuck, but still sprinting…to help others. The irony! Here goes another swing at the bat for helping myself. Practice makes perfect.

Namaste.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I know you might not always understand my fast messages, but you always totally get me. I love you!

#TodayIsTheDay #StartDriving #LifeOutsideTheDroneZone

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celebrate everyday: day 15

Today I celebrate that we all have the right to choose not take sh*t from anyone who’s wrongly dishing it out. 

This is part of a conversation I had today:

The Devil Wears Prada

The amount of abuse I see is staggering. By bosses, spouses, friends, clients, neighbors- you name it. I hear about so many people continually being manipulated and manhandled, when they don’t deserve a bit of it.

Why are we saying please and thank you, to daily nut-punchings?

When we say yes to head, heart, or body pummeling from people who clearly don’t like themselves, it’s our own fault. Don’t we realize we promote what we tolerate? The sad humans who live on the level of treat others like garbage just because, don’t even know who’s in the path of their destruction they’re so unconscious. Run for the border! It ain’t ever gonna change, sweet pea. Let that toxicity be dust in your wind.

NO ONE SHOULD EVER GET TO PLAY KICK THE CAN WITH YOUR LIFE.

When did we decide that all the adult bullies on the playground, win? When did we decide that it was a better idea to stay in a completely unhealthy situation at work or home, than to stand up for ourselves and make a change? When did we forget about all the awesome stuff we’re made of, that we used to see so clearly?

People show you who they are pretty quickly. Next time someone is being a first class ass to you for no good reason, walk away my dear friends. You’re allowed to take control.

Oh the glorious CHOICES we have!

Today is the day. What are you waiting for?

#LifeUnstuck #StandUp #StartDriving

*Feeling stuck? Call me! (804.339.6514) I can help.

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just. start. driving.

We all talk. We say we want this and that, we pretend we’re fully committed, we make ourselves feel good by chipping away tiny line items on our never ending to-do lists, years pass, and we never get anywhere, or at least anywhere close to where we actually want to be.

Squirrel!

Am I talking about you? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Me too.

We swirl in this purgatory place of half-committed, because life get’s in the way…of life; money, kids, relationships, laundry, rinse and repeat. We ignore the truth, our true desires, we busy and distract ourselves, we worry, we help other people first, and there we are 10 years later.

As in, quite literally, 10 years later.

Blue Lollipop Road kicks off year #10 on October 16th. (TEN YEARS!) When realizing that upcoming birthday during the past few months this summer, along with looking at what my work life had become, (off track from what I’ve really wanted and been trying to do all these years), I decided to call bullshit on myself, and draw my deepest line in the sand yet. I’m a big believer in accountability and willingness to publicly embarrass oneself. Want to light a fire under your own ass even though you know you have the capability of doing “it” on your own? Tell the world you’re going to do something big. Hopefully your world will continue to call you out regularly until you do that thing. (You better believe if you ever tell me you have a burning desire to do something, I will poke you and give you positive grief until you do it. I expect the same in return, so thank you to those of you who always give it right back to me.)

Vacant Apartment

Vacant Apartment

As you can see from the above now empty living space photos, Elvis (Diane) has left the building. Why? To go where? You’ll just have to keep following here to see what’s next.

Would you believe this minimalist, who cares about a space it is only a space and I can make home anywhere! – threw two temper tantrums during her move the other day? Two! As in crying and throwing fists in the air with frustration looking and sounding like that spawn of Satan child in the Target check out line who’s mom said she couldn’t have the M&M’s. It was slightly horrifying. Thank goodness only one person saw, and luckily he still wants to be around me. Who knew I had fallen so much in love with my cozy comfort zone space and habits. All the more reason to jump into a new controlled fire, to keep that light under my ass burning hot. Want to make things happen? Sacrifice, baby.

Crazy how we all like so much, to stay snuggled tight under our warm blankets of complacency, not nearly as alive as we think we are.

As I sit here in my new fire, 110% committed to my one big career goal that maybe should’ve been completed years ago, but probably couldn’t have had the chance to be as great as it will be until now, those annoying little negative, fearful, I must be crazy, worry gnomes are trying their hardest to get a ticket to my party again. Sorry bitches! Ain’t no room for you up in my celebration station anymore! I just took a blow torch to that cozy comfort zone blanket soiree, so I could stand here awkwardly naked, strong and proud, ready to put back on only the layers that fit completely authentically.

Soon I will launch a sparkly new writing project here. I guarantee you’ll dig it, and be able to see a lot of yourself in what’s to come. Happy almost birthday to my sweet baby blue!

I hope you go out today, and get all kinds of naked. Nobody has this life perfectly figured out. All you can do is strip yourself down to your core and hop in the car. Somehow the road is always right there.

#LessPlanningMoreDoing #LifeOutsideTheDroneZone #TodayIsTheDay

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celebrating with my girls

Tonight I’m having dinner with some of my home base gal pals. A few of my besties/girl tribe/bishes/(insert whatever ridiculous or funny name you call your peeps here.) These are ladies in my life who make up just a small portion of badass women who know my crap, call me out when I need it, and who make me laugh until both my face and stomach hurt. I like to refer to some of our antics as complete jackassery, but really our gatherings are pretty tame; food, drink, and conversation about any and everything- no judgments, secrets, or bs, just love, support, and fun, while lots of hours fly by.

Lucky me to have these people.

We will be celebrating my birthday a week late, because last Tuesday (on my actual birthday), I was playing around at Glacier National Park:

Glacier National Park

That trip was a gift from another set of ladies who mean the world to me, my BLR Play It Forward alumni crew. They gifted me a “travel scholarship” at our annual event in July. These ladies thanked me for providing travel scholarships to students in our home town during our first 5 events, and this was their give back to me. In reality, they are the very reason I’ve been able to pull off making Play It Forward a thing all these years.

Lucky me to have these people.

More girls? These two, who are the backbone and continued inspiration for everything Blue Lollipop Road:

Maria and blue tongue

(Yes, that would be a blue lollipop tongue:)

Brandy suited up

August 18th marked 23 years of them gone. It still doesn’t seem possible.

Lucky me to have had time I did with them, even if it was far too short.

Yet another girl bestie (can a girl really have too many besties? I don’t think so. Is it permissible to use the term “bestie” for your gal pals when you’re 39 years old? I think so), this one:

Sweet Katie

Sweet Katie

Today would be her 39th birthday, too. I wrote this on one of the days in this life where a piece of my heart forever broke.

Lucky me to have had time I did with her, even if it was far too short.

I will celebrate tonight with and for girls I can, and cannot see. I will celebrate tomorrow the same. (And with guys too!) I will continue to celebrate everyday. I will never apologize for laughing too loud, having too much fun. I won’t be worried about telling someone I love them, even if there are a lot of “them” (as in, people- that probably includes many of you reading this), because life is only so long, and the one thing I know for sure is that there’s no reason to wait…or to be afraid.

I hope you will raise a glass of any kind tonight, too with/for yourself, or with the good people around you, celebrating the luck in every healthy minute you have.

Cheers!

#RespectTheClock #TodayIsTheDay #HopToIt

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get out in it

I’m on the last leg of a long birthday weekend adventure. Delta was my flight brand this go around, and I’m pleased to share I’ve had an atypical flying experience this time; a pleasant one! The past few years have been met with a lot of bizarre rude humans and all too often, not so smiley airline staff, but all the Delta employees during my there and now almost back trek have been above and beyond friendly, helpful, and actually seem like they love their jobs.

Yahoo!

I saw this commercial on my way out west:

Click here for video link. 

Delta Commercial

I high-fived with the sweet cowboy sitting next to me after seeing it. We agreed it’s a fantastic ad.

…because the ones who truly change the world, are the ones who can’t wait to get out in it.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been big on that whole waiting thing.

What are you waiting for?

#WakeUp #StepOutside #HopToIt

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my bluebird of happiness

In the fall of 2011, Honda sponsored a road trip for me. Honda fans voted on where to send me on my Blue Lollipop Road adventure and fortunately that included all east coast spots. That made it easy on me to pick up the car I got to drive in New Jersey, and also put me close to all things Northeast where I had an excuse to see some family and friends. I hadn’t seen this girl in years, but as soon as I dropped in out of nowhere, she was thrilled to host me in New Hampshire:

Play It Forward 2015

Lucky me.

(This photo was taken at BLR Play It Forward 2015.)

I remember sitting in Kate Emma’s living room after kids and hubby were in bed, talking about our friends and past memories of good times in high school. She made a suggestion that we should have a reunion soccer game, and that I host it. Neither of us had any idea what all of this would become next, but that one night of conversation would end up turning into something so much bigger and more powerful than we would ever imagine. Now here we are, about to kick off our 6th Annual BLR Play It Forward event.

As soon as I arrived back in Chicago (where I lived at the time) from my Honda trip, I got to work putting together this alumni soccer game idea, added in some community social events, and a travel scholarship fund. I keep in touch with a lot of people, but for whatever reason I had barely any connections to, or communication with old soccer friends at that time, and I sure as heck didn’t know how to go about starting a scholarship fund. This was one of those times when social media came in very handy. Finding alumni around the world I’d either never met or hadn’t talked to in years would’ve been nearly impossible otherwise.

I remember sitting in my apartment in Old Town on the 23rd floor right above Second City for HOURS and DAYS planning, planning, planning, and not coming up for air during the fall and winter of 2011/2012. I was clueless on all of it but I had never felt so sure about anything in my life, so I just kept calling, asking, messaging, and asking more, and I knew it would all work.

August 18th, 2012 was our first event, and it was by far the most incredible and bittersweet day of my life. I’ve never been able to put into words what that day felt like. All I know is it was this beautiful blur of celebration perfection for these two people who brought so much joy to the world. I’ve never felt sun on my face since, as warmly as I did at that moment we released those blue balloons in the sky after the game:

Balloons in the sky

Everyday since then, I always look up at the sky and clouds in a different way, reflecting on how lucky I am to have time with people who bring so much love and laughter to my life.

Two weeks from today will kick off our event once again. As I thought about writing this post when I woke up this morning, I remembered the hours I’d spend sitting at my desk planning this big dream we had. For those few months it was like everything else in the world disappeared and I was totally in my flow, completely present to what made me tick in every way. I would go to the gym downstairs in the morning for my booty shaking class, and straight back up to my apartment throwing my sweaty clothes in the laundry and wrapping myself in this beach towel I had that I often wore before hopping in the shower so I could send a quick email or make a quick call, etc. I cannot count the amount of times I’d look down at 9PM to find myself still wrapped in that towel, filthy and starving still sitting at my desk. I would jump up looking at the clock, grab a quick shower and fly out the door of my building to the Chipotle downstairs for a burrito before they locked the doors at 10PM.

Full circle:

Guess where I went this morning? Guess where I’m sitting right now? Guess how much time has passed today and I haven’t noticed because writing about Play It Forward and working on the last bit of push for this year is so my jam that hours fly by? Guess what I am wearing? Guess who still hasn’t taken a shower, and guess where I could run downstairs right now if I needed something to eat? Yes; booty shaking class, my desk, a lot, that same towel (Ok, maybe that’s gross, but I have washed it a lot so I don’t care:), me, and Chipotle. I’m just in a different city and it’s 6+ years later.

What does this mean to me? Everything. When you find that thing, that “place” where you could be hungry, tired, and the world could be swirling in chaos around you, and you wouldn’t even notice because you’re doing something that feeds your soul to the core, THAT is being inspired. It’s the power of Strong Mojo. I think that continuing to do that thing/those things throughout your life is key.

Play It Forward 2012:

Play It Forward 2012

Play It Forward 2012

2013:

Play It Forward 2013

Play It Forward 2013

2014:

Play It Forward 2014

Play It Forward 2014

2015:

Play It Forward 2015

Play It Forward 2015

and 2016:

Play It Forward

Play It Forward

…have been beyond special. I’ve experienced that people will show up when you stay inspired, believe in something bigger than yourself, and continue to share it. THE FIELD OF DREAMS IS REAL. Play It Forward is not me. It’s US. It’s the indefinable essence of magic when everything comes together perfectly. It is remembering where you came from, celebrating the memories you have, and living like today is the day.

I’m so lucky to have had such selfless support, help, and love, so I’m able to host this weekend each year. It would be absolutely impossible without all of you, so if you are reading this, thank you. We honor our friends in the best way possible by continuing to come together, and never taking a single day for granted.

Please join us July 7th & 8th!

Keep celebrating.

#RememberCelebrateLive #StrongMojo #AlwaysLookingUp

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fall to your knees

Watch this:

I would say my light years ended on August 18, 1994, but I’m not sure that would count considering I had just turned 16 years old and some would say I was still just a kid. I guess I was? Maybe. I never felt like one after that day even though I did manage to live fairly carefree for the 20 years that followed.

Then December 10th, 2014 happened.

In the near exact 2 years since then, I have been brought to my knees too many times to count. If my light years didn’t end back in 1994, they sure ended before Christmas a couple years ago. That day, I walked alone in silence for 10 miles in flip flops. I didn’t know what else to do. I had gotten a phone call that would leave anyone speechless. After I hung up, I stood up and walked out the door in a daze. I had no idea the wrath that was coming beyond that.

My experience has taught when life starts to pummel you, she rarely stops. It’s one punch after the next, after the next. There are chunks of time where the beat downs of bad news, events, and loss come so hard and so fast, you can’t eat, sleep, or stop crying. You can barely breathe. You lose hope, feel unimaginably alone, and wonder what the hell is wrong with the world; life isn’t supposed to be like this. 

But it is.

If you are an old friend or follower, or have in any way joined me on my journey since starting down this Blue Lollipop Road on October 16th, 2008, I know you’ve noticed that I’ve been promising a lot here and not keeping up on my promises over the past many months. I know you’ve wondered from time to time what’s been going on because I’ve been absent from the place that means everything to me…right here. Thank you for your check ins and notes of concern. It has bothered me a lot to be away, after all this is the one place where I feel like I completely belong.

Come to find out, I get tired, I don’t really like to or feel the need to share everything anymore like I used to, and I’ve just needed a break. Let’s call it a severe recalibration on/in each part of my life. I think we all need this after a certain number of years existing in the same, maybe not so healthy habits.

Since two Decembers ago, I’ve hovered over a friend in a coma, watched another become skeletal from cancer, lost a love that was a life changer, and said goodbye, kissing the cold forehead of the sweetest and kindest man, my favorite man in the whole wide world…as he lay in his open casket. I’m currently sending daily “fist pumps” to a sick friend in the fight of his life.  I’ve paid off a debilitating debt that a past relationship left me, and I missed the chance to have a scheduled lunch date that I didn’t realize would be the last, with one of my best friends before she was gone. 8 friends and family members have moved to better places since May of 2015. To say this time has been hellacious, would be a gargantuan understatement.

And I know plenty of people who’ve had it far worse than me.

It seems that only when you get the most epic beat down, and you’re either forced to, or choose to sit in that pain- can you see what you are truly made of, and what really matters. I had always put serious blood sweat and tears into continually standing up, staying steady & energized, fighting with, dealing with, keeping up with expectations I’ve had for myself and out of life. I am strong. Well, I’m here to share with you now that the ass-whooping I’ve received during this 700+ day run recently has pulverized me. I’ve been forced to sit in my pain and have been surprised to find I was ready. It has left me away from here, relishing in days of much needed silence and self-reflection alone, throwing my endless and pointless to-do lists to the side, and not even caring if the wheels fell off the bus.

The control freak has left the building.

Relief.

Turns out the wheels will never actually fall off the bus. The bus keeps going.

I took a bad spill on Tuesday this week when I was running as usual, early in the morning. I was cruising down the sidewalk feeling like a million bucks, and just a few blocks from home:

Falling Down

img_6115

I even broke my shoe:

img_6122

So graceful I am!

I fell to my knees…hard. (See a theme here?) I was up within a millisecond and kept running while my whole body throbbed. Adrenaline is an amazing thing. I knew what I’d see if I looked down, so I didn’t. I made it home to grab money, pick rocks, leaves, and dirt out of my wounds, then went directly to Target for peroxide which was out of stock at 8 o’clock in the morning. (Of course!)

Work days don’t wait, so by the time I did the peroxide pour-over at 3pm that day, the burn and white foam made me screech like a kid who’s older brother just stole all her Halloween candy. Bruised hands, knees, elbow, shoulder and ego, arm scratched with all the way up. Now I know what people mean when they say they’re sore for a few days after a car accident. I will spare you with additional photos of my current 5 day later green crusty open road rash. Ew. It definitely doesn’t look or feel pretty.

I ran again Thursday morning, I can’t remember the last time I felt really scared about anything but I actually did feel afraid to fall during that whole run. It was bizarre. I didn’t fall. Yesterday I carried the anchor leg of the Charlotte Marathon for a relay team and crossed the finish line strong. Get back on the horse? You’ve got to.

I woke up this morning late, and as I sipped coffee in quiet, I found myself wandering to the wall near my desk. I tape things there at random, things that inspire me and make me smile. My eyes went straight to this area as I though of finally writing about all this today:

I see it

Top left is me with my friends Jon and Aaron (Bubba) many years ago, maybe 1999? during a back country camping and hiking trip in Canyonlands National Park. Travel and the open road. Life was good and “light.” Top right is the Peacock kid clan, that’s me and my fantastic siblings at my sisters high school graduation. Bottom left is what I call the “original” Blue Lollipop Road. I took that photo on a bike ride with my brother outside Cafayate, Argentina in 2009. Bottom right is my fun-loving friend Maria who passed away in 1994. We had the coolest fanny packs and best hair on the way to a 6th grade field trip. In the middle is sweet Katie and I. Katie has since passed as well. We called those our “chunky” days back in 1995. Silly teenagers we were.

A life filled with joy and pain.

This world has continued to horrify and delight me. Every bit of it. I see and experience so much good and so much bad. In March of this year, I cut out the top right words from a magazine thinking I couldn’t agree more. It reads:

“We’re taught fear. We’re taught jealousy. We’re taught ego. We’re taught comparisons. We’re taught materialism. But we’re not taught love. And that’s a very important crisis to start paying attention to.”

Indeed it is.

On the left the magazine cut out reads:

To proving yourself. Especially when no one else is around.

I went to an event a couple weeks ago to listen to an author share about her life. She said she’d gotten advice from a friend who told her not tell her story from when her wounds were still fresh and wide open, but to tell once they were scars; semi-healed places with marks of life. I love that advice and that’s where I am now. I’ve had a hard time finding my feet, let alone words, I’ve needed to step back to recreate and now I move forward here again. This place is my truth.

As I sit there, still in pajamas in bed at 4:21pm on this chilly fall Sunday afternoon, I have an odd and happy sense of peace even though I’ve just written and revisited all these feelings of being ripped to my core. I suppose this peace is what you earn from being pushed through a sword fighting labyrinth and then finding your way out when there’s no other choice besides curling up yourself and going away forever. When you prove things to yourself when no one else is around. When you allow yourself to fall all the way to your knees and stay there for a while…long enough to realize everything you need to before you get up.

I miss a lot of people, and every single day. That will never change. There are so many faults in our stars. Bad things happen to good people and I hate that, but I’ve learned to accept that fact as well. This has been a bitchin’ of a couple of years, and not in the cool, surfs up, dude kind of way. After a run of not feeling excited about anything, I’m finally crazy excited about the future. I can’t wait to fall in love again, I can’t wait to laugh more until my stomach hurts, I can’t wait to travel and see more of the world (next up…Spain!) I refuse to be afraid of the next wave of whatever that’s coming my way.

If this is your first time visiting here, welcome to my story and reason for doing what I do, in life and in business.

Everyday is a chance and a choice to drive in the direction of whatever we do and do not want. If we have our health we have everything. Life is awesome until that instant that It’s not. None of us will ever know when that moment is coming, so what are we waiting for?

My heart has been shattered into a million pieces, because I’ve been lucky enough to love some very good people. Not a single regret. Take another little piece of my heart now, baby…because I might end up going away for a while when it all gets to be too much, but I will never stop loving, or showing up.

#TodayIsTheDay #Truth #LetLoveRule

*(My goal is to start writing again every day like I used to, and finally finish my book! If you liked reading this, pretty please share it, and scroll down to the bottom of the home page of this site and enter your email address to subscribe to my blog posts:)

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i dare you

So this is a car ad (and who cares about fancy cars), but every time I hear or see the words only those who dare drive the world forward in this commercial, it makes me want to jump up and scream, HELL YES!

I went with a CPA friend yesterday to a local Title I high school to talk to students about basic financial literacy. We tried to be cool, fun, and as current as possible as we shared about thrilling things that every 16-18 year old (ha!) is just chomping at the bit to learn about like credit card interest, opening a bank or savings account, and how best to fill out a job application. As we made our important points about how to kick off life with a few bucks in your pocket and how not to (ahem) eff up your early money life by making mistakes that we (or at least, I) did, we found ourselves circling back to a basic foundation message that has nothing, (but everything) to do with money and creating a healthy, happy life:

Stay curious, figure out how you like to spend your time, trust your gut, and hustle for what you want. Speak up, keep getting up, and never take no for an answer.

Walking out of the school it felt great to know maybe, just maybe, we could’ve made the slightest impact on a young life. I couldn’t help but think though, that perhaps all of us “adults” could use to be a little bit more daring; To remember who we were, what we dreamed about, and the things that made our hearts beat fast back in the day when we first found out the world was our oyster.

I dare you.

#LifeOutsideTheDroneZone #TodayIsTheDay #Dare

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