HOLY CRAP! 

Is this what I have been missing out on? Making me happy for ME? Literally stopping, scratching my head and yes- even most of the time saying out loud to myself; “What do I want to do for me right now?” 

It’s the freaking BEST! This whole taking care of me thing. Now when I go to work, social events, etc. I am super fun, really smart and totally awesome because I am actually happy with myself, my life and just feel plain good. 

Um, I can’t necessarily say I’m embarrassed that I just caught onto this sweet thing called true happiness and peace within yourself, but man do I feel like a doofus! I now feel like I have found the holy freaking grail. Incredible. I would have started this process years ago if I had smartened up before. I’ve heard the world taunting me “come and get it Diane!” for all my adult years, I guess I wasn’t ready to have/get it/do it/feel it until now.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for every last person and thing that smacked me, dumped me, reminded me and forced me to look in the mirror.

I am finally free! Yipee, yippee, yippee!

I highly recommend the disappearing act or running fast and furious away from anything and everything that is familiar and easy to you. Basically the recipe for success is picking what you think would be your personal ultimate in holy hell/solitary confinement/so not fun thing or place and doing that/going there. Then go for that ultimate hell 110% until you think you are about to throw yourself in the ocean because you just cannot take it anymore. At that point, the bottom of the barrel comes, you become hysterical in whatever that means to you personally and pretty much when you think the world could quite possible end right there, something unexplainable happens and things just make sense all the sudden. See, I am convinced that unless you participate in most to all of the above, it’s nearly impossible to really see what you are made of. When you do though, it’s friggin awesome. You feel like you can actually do all those things you ever dreamed of. You become this strong, fearless and mature grown-up.

It is all so so possible, you just have to bust you ass to get there. Totally worth it. So? if you feel like you are going through hell- keep on trucking. Trust me- you’ll get there.

More soon and Blue Lollipop Road lives. Watch for changes and keep following. Thank you for all your love, support and sticking by me. I can’t believe it life gets even better than it’s already been! Yay!

He then responded with: GEEZ, I have never seen someone get so excited over a bill.

I said: Life is short, play hard.

I own my geek-ness.

They make fun of me being all “Pom poms, Go Team! and Spirit Fingers.” I love this and take full advantage when sending out work orders, etc. adding things about unicorns and rainbows. (I have to make sure they re paying attention!)

This made me think. Being happy, positive and excited about your days is a choice. If you want to be pissy, have a bad attitude and hate your life- you will. If you want the opposite- it’s a choice. You can have whatever you want.

My life is certainly not all butterflies and rainbows, nor will it ever be. I have however taken life by the balls (I will hide my class for just a moment there- sometimes it has to be done.) and I am “killing” it. I’m no different as a soul that I was a month, year, or 5 years ago- I’ve just realized I have the authority to make a choice on a daily basis to get up early, stay up late and keep jumping up when life kicks my ass. It’s hard to do this when you feel like garbage and oh have I been there. I could share a laundry list of screw ups, heartbreaks and hurdles that could move a mountain. We all could. Life is a cycle of ups and downs and learning how best to deal with cards we’re dealt and mistake we make. I have made a million.

The thing is though, even when you’re in the worst of dumps, after a while something has to click. You then realize the truth in the fact that we all have ONE life. Then the- WTF am I waiting for?! smacks you in the face pretty quickly. 

Butterflies, rainbows and pom poms it is for me. It’s so fun owning my toolness and feeling like an 8 year old. Punishing yourself in a different negative and unhopeful place (I have done this plenty before) for no good reason is a total waste and man does it make you feel awful.