For real. But get your mind out of the gutter. Not that.

More on this later…too busy having fun this weekend:)

FREEDOM AND CONFIDENCE. 

Yesssssss! I want it I want it!

That stuck and yuck feeling of not having freedom or confidence just plain sucks (I feel stuck and yuck if I fall into a pattern of consistently eating unhealthy foods, when I frett about paying bills, when I do don’t work that’s meaningful to me and when I panic that the planet is going to up and collapse because humans are so wasteful.) I don’t like feeling stuck and yuck, so I’d like to start sharing some practices I have adopted that I think could help others while I help myself. Some of these things I’ll share might seem small and silly, but they do add up and make a difference. I posted about eating local and organic for super cheap a couple days ago. That’s an example of what I try to do on a daily basis. After my own gluttony and ignorance in the past, I have made the following  intentions for myself in 2010 and so far they’re working like a charm:

1.) Respect the earth.

2.) Pat attention to my individual mental and physical health.

3.) Do work that feeds my soul and that I give a shit about.

4.) Spend less and pay off more.

I know can only control way I make efforts to live healthy and make myself happy for me, but at least it makes me feel good to try and share what I have learned from my 10,000 mistakes. My tip for today is (hey- not the sexiest, but for some reason it popped into my head this morning so here goes):

STOP buying paper napkins and paper towels. I haven’t purchased these things in at least a year. A roll of paper towels can be up to $2.00 and pack of napkins around $3.00 (if not more if you buy fancy ones.) Its probably safe to say the typical household uses at least 4 rolls of paper towels and 2 packs of napkins each in a month. That’s $168 a year! Buy some flour sack towels (pictured here from my kitchen), or cloth non-fancy napkins instead. You can wash and reuse and not throw anything in the landfill. I bought the 5 I have in a pack for $5.00. That’s a savings for me of $163.00 a year and they work better than the paper stuff anyway!

I don’t know about you, but I have plenty of thoughts on bills I could pay down or a treat I could get for myself or someone I love with an extra $163.00 a year. Totally worth it.

Again. 

This has become a thing for me recently. I wake up at around 2am, usually toss and turn for a good few hours, my mind starts racing and I just can’t fall asleep again until it’s about time to get up. I can’t say I’m surprised that last night after sitting in silence for 6 hours alone on my couch just thinking, writing and laying it all out there in my last post- I slept like a newborn baby after a feeding or someone that had been drugged. Ahhh…it was incredible. My peaceful and deep sleep then lead to a bouncier than normal morning run, a productive and fulfilling day at work, then extra-enjoyable night catching up with a friend over dinner and glass of wine. Funny the sense of freedom and energy that rushes in after telling the complete truth and just letting all control go. It’s too bad I was so scared to tip the scales to that final stretch before. Good things is now that I am that cat out of the bag and I’m never getting back in. 

***I’ve gotten a bunch of feedback about that enormous post. People don’t always post comments here as much as contacting me directly. This would probably be a good place for me to insert that I am thankful and love the direct contact and comments from you all, but I’d much prefer and really love it if you’d post here instead of writing me directly. I am all about sharing with everyone!***

My Embrace The Suck novel represents a significant turning point, or maybe I should say new beginning point in my life that I have needed. This whole personal blogging thing has been just that. Me using a channel, a place like the world wide web to learn during those times I think I am going crazy or “the only one”- that there are a significant amount of people out there just like me trying to figure it all out and grow up. 

Since the start of my writing over a year and a half ago here, I’ve thought a million times; Um did I just air all my dirty laundry on the internet for anyone to read?-Maybe I should delete that. What if so and so’s parents see this?-Maybe I should delete that. I wonder what the people at the office will think?- Maybe I should delete that. Will my friends think I’m a nutcase and will this make boys run away?-Maybe I should delete that. (I am laughing now as I type. Oh the fear fear fear.) Something has kept me from back spacing all this time and I am so glad for that. It’s probably that sense of freedom, like I’m getting out of jail every time I press the “PUBLISH POST” button. That freedom feels like I can push the weight of the world off myself for at least one minute. 

In closing so I can try to get some sleep, the best thing about airing the dirtiest of my laundry to the entire world is that it quickly welcomes the like-minded, no bull, genuine people into my life (the ones that I want) and weeds out the fakers and scaredy-cats. I’m finally smart enough to know that my time is much too precious to waste on the fake and scared so let my laundry continue to air, air, air…