this just in: i’m human
I know. Alert the presses. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever admitted.
To say I have been running on all cylinders or burning the candle at both ends for years is an understatement. In fact, if you Googled “Balls-to-the-wall” (I’m so classy..) right now, I’m sure there’d be a photo of me there waving like a poster child for that saying. I’ve relished in the momentum and madness, I love a seemingly impossible challenge and I’ve previously believed I could be and do anything in 2. 5 seconds. Â Well, I reached a spent point a few weeks ago:
Just friggin’ tired.
I never thought this would happen. I think it’s been 17 years since I’ve taken a nap until this month. I’m that girl who would bleed out of my eyeballs before going to bed without washing every dish in the sink, returning every call or email, and I always think I can fit just one more thing in before sitting down. I am a master multi-tasker and I have far more energy than most humans. (We are all still trying to figure out where I came from 🙂 I’ve somehow kept up a consistent lighting speed go go go pace, even during some serious tragedy, when I’ve been hosed, and when I’ve been so exhausted it’s felt impossible to keep my eyes open. I’ve recently joked several times that someone could beat me in the face with a steel stiletto heel while I was running a marathon and I’d be able to say “That’s all ya got?.”
I’m here to announce that I crashed after my Honda September trip. I mean crashed. I’ve rested and relaxed like I was on a beach with a bucket of Coronas (except I’m in Chicago on a couch) for about a month now. I’ve allowed myself to leave dishes in the sink, I’ve let myself fall into bed right after work if I have felt tired, and even powered my phone off at times. (Livin’ on the edge I am!) It’s been amazing. I feel like a new woman. Really, I feel like an entirely recharged new human. This step away, reflect, rework and rest time has been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself and gotten me even more jazzed up for what’s next in the Blue Lollipop World than I’ve ever been before.
If you have been checking in here wondering when I was going to post my September Honda trip wrap up, the Million Mile Joe celebration and more, those posts will be here soon and are promised to be awesome. While the timing to rest when coming off such a big exciting trip could’ve been better, when my body, mind and soul got to a point where they couldn’t even see straight anymore, shut down mode happened and I had little choice in the matter. Believe me, I am a pusher (My Mother is laughing right now along with a lot of other people) and if had been humanly possible to maintain my typical pace this past month I would’ve, but it simply wasn’t so there you have it: I’m human.
Man that feels good to say.
So reading this now if you have concluded that my pervious post titled “Site Maintenance” really meant “Diane Maintenance”, but actually really does mean site maintenance in the end. (Yes, this would be the first time I caught a clue that it’s possible to get more work done while actually “doing” very little.) Two gifts I have been given by cutting myself some slack these past few weeks:
1.) A clear vision of where I want Blue Lollipop Road to go from here and how I am going to get there.
2.) Being reminded once again that Blue Lollipop Road is my heart and soul, I love spending time here and doing what I do more than anything else.
Awesome.
So does this mean the rested me is going to move at a snails pace and keep taking lots of naps? Heck no! It’s engrained in my DNA to be a million miles and hour and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The difference is I’ll be less hard on myself when I need a breather. I’m already back up and off to the races like the energizer bunny. Of course I can give you all the dish in one night, so you’ll just have to check back and see what’s next. It just might involve you…
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