open up and say… ahh!

open up and say… ahh!

Had to throw in some Poison here that popped in my mind for a title!

I’m sitting by a window at a little wooden table with fresh flowers on it in a bustling cafe’ in a small Alaska town. I’m cozied up wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and scarf and rain is drizzling outside. The smell of espresso being ground (yum) and cinnamon fill the air (yum.) From my seat I can see what seems to be a thousand fishing boats.

As I was just bopping around different pages on my laptop trying to get some writing done, emails caught up etc., I found myself stopping to take a big breath, and just sitting back in the chair for a minute to say ahh….

I suppose that even in my solo hikes, miles of driving and plenty of relaxed, writing coffee shop time prior to this, I’ve still been wound up a whole lot more than I realized. I had this goal to make it here, these thoughts of what It’d be like. It was hugely important to me to be able to properly honor two people that mean so much to me on this certain day, and now that day has passed. I guess this is bit of a calm after the storm kind of feeling. Like some kind of satisfying relief or something. That smile and euphoric feeling that we get on Thanksgiving day on the couch after the feast when our face has a smile and we’re dozing off into a nap…

This trip could have not been more perfect. I’m glad I didn’t and haven’t actually planned a single thing besides taking some special time on 8/18. If I had specifically planned this all out, I know I wouldn’t be sitting here anywhere near as happy as I am. The harsh reality now is that my time in Alaska has only a short bit left, I have no place to live after my travels and no job because I chose to give that all up to be here. Bank accounts are scraping bottom, and the majority of things I own are in my car. My reality is though, that the previously stated doesn’t stress me out. Since I decided to take the first step on this journey and let control go more than I ever have before, things have just worked out.”When you take a step toward life, the universe will support you” is what someone wrote to me in an email a few months ago. This has proven to be so very true. I’m not completely sure what’s next for me as far as what city I will live in or how exactly I will make a living. I have some irons in the fire, and I keep the door open for other opportunities that may come. It’s tremendously exciting for me to think about the next phase of life. There have been plenty of times I haven’t woken up excited for months. (Yuck. Pure torture.) I know as long as I keep waking up somewhat excited about my day and try my best, I’ll always be exactly where I need to be. This trip has offered me a comfort and confidence to thoroughly believe that.

Here’s to that moment after you reach that seemingly much too far off goal, that you sit back, open up and say ahh! Then; What’s next world? Bring it- I’m ready for more!