today is the day. what are you waiting for?
It’s 9:29pm, just a day-ish before I ring in my 35th birthday, and I have just gotten off yet another phone conversation (2nd one in 2 weeks) about a friends young mom dying suddenly (as in- out of nowhere, healthy; one in their 50’s and one in their 60’s.) That’s in addition to cancer news from one of my best and longest life friends who is exactly 1 week younger than I am, and simultaneously texting with yet another friend who had a parent commit suicide. I am far too young (anyone is at age 34) to have this kind of regular weekly news happen yet- right? UGH. Shaking my head as I wipe tears, so I can see the computer keys clear enough to type this. Sudden devastating news like the aforementioned is that in which changes lives and rocks you to your core in a way you’d never wish on your worst enemy, and it is the kind of news I absolutely hate.
I think this all warrants a; WHAT. THE. F*CK?!
Every day since 8/18/1994, “life is short” has been on my mind. It’s something that is burned into my every day and will never go away. I created Blue Lollipop Road in honor of the friends I lost on that day and keep it all up because sharing my life and stories with the world help me manage my grief and sadness on a daily basis. Fighting to focus on “Things That Are Awesome” and finding adventure in the good each day has to offer, helps keep myself in check when I want to piss and moan about little things that do not matter one single bit. I am so thankful for this outlet (and running, and travel, and family & friends) because if I didn’t have those things- I’d probably be in a ditch somewhere myself. I often wonder how others- who don’t have outlets like I do- even cope to get up and function on a daily basis. I just hope they never feel alone. I hope if whoever that may be, might be reading this- they will feel like someone can relate, and really thinks it sucks total ass too- that life is so unfair sometimes.
So as this news has made my head hurt, and my heart hurt for some friends I know that are going through hell right now- I will close this by by begging anyone out there who is waiting to be or do something, to wait no more. Things happen suddenly. People are ripped away from us too soon. Tomorrow will come for some of us, but not all of us. Don’t wait for permission, don’t be afraid, don’t put off anything or anyone that is important to you.
Today is the day.
Be, do, say, what you want to- before It’s too late..