insomnia

insomnia

I’m on the west coast and It’s 3:30am. I’m awake again lying here thinking about NYC AGAIN.

I’m ruined.

I started out my Alaska or Bust trip this summer there. From the second I drove in even close to the city I felt like a fish who found water. I NEVER imagined wanting to live there in a million years but 8 weeks and 2 days later here I am lying awake thinking about it. I have tried to force myself to love another place, I. Fully anticipated that I’d have some pull to Seattle, Portland, San Fran or Napa for a home right now. While I heart those cities for some reason I don’t really have a drop of pull for them. NYC however has me under It’s spell like no chocolate, man, cute baby, puppy, or other thing ever has.

Here’s a fun question; Where does a 32 year old single girl with nearly $27k in debt move with some solid leads but no place to live and no job? Well The Big Apple of course!

Eff! This is one of those times I almost wish I could ignore my heart and head. This is one of those times I think maybe It’d be nice to be a little scared about following my intuition. Now that I’ve gifted myself a trip and space like I have this summer I can see what I want and don’t want with a clear head. That’s quite a responsibility. If I ignore things I know I want or need moving forward, I know the world will b*tch slap me. I’m excited for that. So, so excited.

Be careful for what you wish for. You just might get it then you might be lying awake at 3:30am somewhere in the world because your conscience has an alarm for you that won’t go away.

I haven’t the slightest how I’m going to make this all work, but my alarm is going BEEP BEEP BEEP! I guess its time for some serious game planning on how this Vermont girl is going to make it in the big city. Unless some dream job or other situation comes out of nowhere like a right hook in the next two days, I think It’s pretty apparent where I’ll be headed. Here’s to freezing my ass off this winter!