February 27, 2010
In
Uncategorized
Ahhhh…
I know my posts and have been a bit slimmer that in the past here lately. I want to explain why, and share some news I am really proud of:
Work and life have been so good and busy, I have chosen to ride that wave of goodness and disappear a bit. For the first time ever, I have selfishly taken these past few months to sit in silence, read, write, run, work, learn and more often than not, sit on my ass alone on my couch doing absolutely nothing with my phone on silent and computer off. This has been my personal journey to and most true attempt to best understand myself. To really understand how I work and why I do what I do.
HOLY CRAP!
Is this what I have been missing out on? Making me happy for ME? Literally stopping, scratching my head and yes- even most of the time saying out loud to myself; “What do I want to do for me right now?”
It’s the freaking BEST! This whole taking care of me thing. Now when I go to work, social events, etc. I am super fun, really smart and totally awesome because I am actually happy with myself, my life and just feel plain good.
Um, I can’t necessarily say I’m embarrassed that I just caught onto this sweet thing called true happiness and peace within yourself, but man do I feel like a doofus! I now feel like I have found the holy freaking grail. Incredible. I would have started this process years ago if I had smartened up before. I’ve heard the world taunting me “come and get it Diane!” for all my adult years, I guess I wasn’t ready to have/get it/do it/feel it until now.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for every last person and thing that smacked me, dumped me, reminded me and forced me to look in the mirror.
I am finally free! Yipee, yippee, yippee!
I highly recommend the disappearing act or running fast and furious away from anything and everything that is familiar and easy to you. Basically the recipe for success is picking what you think would be your personal ultimate in holy hell/solitary confinement/so not fun thing or place and doing that/going there. Then go for that ultimate hell 110% until you think you are about to throw yourself in the ocean because you just cannot take it anymore. At that point, the bottom of the barrel comes, you become hysterical in whatever that means to you personally and pretty much when you think the world could quite possible end right there, something unexplainable happens and things just make sense all the sudden. See, I am convinced that unless you participate in most to all of the above, it’s nearly impossible to really see what you are made of. When you do though, it’s friggin awesome. You feel like you can actually do all those things you ever dreamed of. You become this strong, fearless and mature grown-up.
It is all so so possible, you just have to bust you ass to get there. Totally worth it. So? if you feel like you are going through hell- keep on trucking. Trust me- you’ll get there.
More soon and Blue Lollipop Road lives. Watch for changes and keep following. Thank you for all your love, support and sticking by me. I can’t believe it life gets even better than it’s already been! Yay!
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.