Inspiration

September 5, 2015 In grow, Inspiration, Links, Photos, Today Is The Day

keep climbing and celebrating

A portion of what I wrote via email to someone this week:

Real is real and that is all I care about. Transparency is a beautiful thing. Lost is a normal feeling. All the things both you and I have each felt/are feeling are what everybody feels- It’s just that most people don’t ever share it. They’re afraid to, and they continue to live in pain. I share my pain through BLR and it has literally saved my life over the years. No one realizes that when I write, I write to myself. I’m not a magical happy unicorn of positive messaging because life is peaches and cream; I write, and push, and try, and believe because I have to– to stay alive and thrive. That is no joke. I am so bruised up, just like you and everyone in this world- but time is far too precious to feel sorry for myself/torture myself/think about all my mistakes/beat myself up/be alone, etc. 

It drives me nuts (especially lately) when I’m told I’m “lucky” or when people think it is easy for me to do what I do with my time, work, travel, fun, friends, family, etc. because I supposedly have some big/great personality or mystical power. I’ve been told things are “easy” for me. I wish. Might I remind everyone of THIS, THIS, AND THIS for example. (Yes, please click on those three links and read, but no, please don’t feel sorry for me for one single second- everyone has their own stuff.) Those links are just illustrations of why my life is much like yours; not even close to always easy-breezy. I know for certain I have it far better than some, and far worse than others. I also know life is not some kind of competition of who’s loss or heartbreak is worse. If you feel heartbroken, devastated, used and abused, knocked down, don’t know what the hell to do with the rest of your life, awful just feels fucking awful. I hate awful just like every other human, even though I do things like go to Napa to see my friends and sip wine and stuff my face with good food, say yes when invited to sit on a river house pier and watch the gorgeous sunrise, and have adventures around the world.

Many times I write here, or you see me smiling big in photos at some tropical beach, in my car on a fun road trip, or at an alumni soccer game- my heart is heavy, as in a ton of bricks live on top of it. Have I ever lied to you or been fake, family, friends, and readers? No. Have I ever put on a tiny white lie happy face because I’ve felt that was necessary for whatever situation at the time? Sure. Have I ever absolutely forced myself to see and feel the good- not the bad, when I’ve felt like the world is crumbling around me and I’m so sad It’s debilitating? All the time my dear friends. I have to– to stay alive and thrive, just like you. And because life is too short not to celebrate.

What kind of life would life be, to sit around for days on end feeling awful even if you should be allowed to or have the right to? What is life for, if not for living fully, saying yes to opportunity for big adventure, and smiling even if during those big adventures our heart often feels incredibly heavy?

After a few minutes/days/weeks of sitting around feeling very, very sorry for ourselves (for any awfulness, self-inflicted or not), when bad things happen- continuing that it is simply wasteful and no way to live. Doing necessary, healthy pity-party things like feeling rock-bottom, swearing, kicking, screaming, slamming, smashing, snotting & crying, binge-eating, letting dishes or laundry pile up, not brushing your teeth or showering, or even getting out of bed are Ok, short term, but…

When life kicks our ass, we honor ourselves, and those not with us anymore by getting up and going out to KICK LIFE’S ASS BACK.

If you’ve got health and time on this earth, you’ve got everything, baby. Everything. Honor that, and rock out your existence on this planet doing what fuels you. 

So what do we do when we don’t have the faintest clue about what to do and sadness is taking over? We take one itsy-bitsy baby step, even if that feels like it couldn’t possibly make a damn bit of difference. Here are a few options for today, Saturday September 5, 2015, if you feel like you’re living in the game of clue(less.):

1.) Read this and start. My favorites are #’s 5, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21 and 29. (25 is what I do to actually pay my bills, so I love and agree with that one big-time of course:)

2.) Clear enough cloudy brain space or dry the tears for just 10 seconds and think about a menial task or errand you can manage. (For instance, after finishing this I’m go get coffee so I’ve got some to brew in the morning, then I will stop at the ATM to make a deposit. WOW big monumental things, right?! Yep, today for me- it is. I’m still in pajamas, It’s 2:44pm, and I’ve had an intense week that should by all means put me on the couch all day, but I know as soon as I accomplish my big time get coffee and go to ATM to-do list, I will feel better and that will lead me to the next thing to feel good about.) Just do one thing you can manage.

3.) Share/give, even if whoever else on the receiving end may never receive it. (Huh? And Wtf, are you kidding me, Diane?! I can’t see straight and you’re suggesting I share or give?! Yes.) Call one person and tell them you’re thankful for them. Genuinely compliment the checkout guy/girl on his or her hair/earrings/smile/shoes/service. Turn to the person sitting next you and tell them you appreciate their friendship/them being a nice coworker/neighbor. Write to someone you love even if you know you will never send it or they won’t ever get the message. (A couple weeks ago I sent a text message to my friend Katie who passed away a couple months ago that said. “I miss you.” Certifiably insane? No. I just missed my friend and couldn’t keep my feelings bottled up anymore so I typed on my phone and pressed send. Bottled up is no bueno.)

If you’ve ever felt like a billion degree hot mess freak show of a person who is incredibly depressed, lost, pissed, or like you have no idea what to do about anything, if your heart has been ripped to shreds- welcome to the party! My hope is you’ll read this, and know there are people out there (in here) just like you. You are not nuts, and you are not alone. We are all in this together. Whaddya say we keep taking itsy-bitsy baby steps to continually spit delicious things back on life when she continually spits disgusting things on us? We can do it.

Inspire yourself. Keep pushing. Be a Mojo Warrior.

Keep Climbing

#RememberCelebrateLive #Fearless #Truth

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August 31, 2015 In Be active, Books to read, Inspiration, North Carolina, Photos, Today Is The Day

taking good advice

I’m pretty much obsessed with this book that was gifted to me this summer:

Best Books

It is raw, real, and one of the best things I have ever read. One of my favorite pages:

Love Tackle

I went to a 6:30am spinning class this morning and had all I could do to not burst into tears during that 60 minutes of dark-roomed, hard-core, sweat intensity. My mind was on one person only, who’s at the peak of a battle that’s beyond unfair. My legs pushed and pushed as if they were possessed to obliterate this person’s illness away. Oh how I wish my 110% effort, and an hour on a bike could change the world and cure cancer.

Today is Monday August 31, 2015. Continuing my Monday Hell Yeah! Get up, get out, and go for it! – themed posts, I’m vowing to not only tackle the motherfucking shit out of love, but to tackle the motherfucking shit out of life in general. Please join me. If we have our health and one single person who loves & believes in us, how lucky are we? Some people don’t have those incredible luxuries.

Get up, get out, and go for whatever you’ve been afraid of. Life is too short to not tackle to motherfucking shit out of everything.

#TodayIsTheDay #LiveWhileYoureLiving #Fearless

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August 26, 2015 In Inspiration, Live the life you want to live, People, Today Is The Day, Uncategorized

very. exciting. things.

I’ve been holding out on you! (I can’t tell you all my secrets, all the time:)

A few months ago, just before the weather started blazing into the start of summer, I had an unexpected conversation that has 100% changed not only the course of my work life, but I feel like potentially my whole life. (ONE 5 minute conversation!!!)

For real.

So I’ve been plugging away since that day, on this new work that truly fuels me, inspires me, uses my talents/experience, and pays me. I’d been fighting so very desperately for years to figure it out and it is here!

HALLELUJAH THANK YOU, JESUS! (And I don’t even go to church.)

This means you will see big changes here to the Blue Lollipop Road you’ve known for nearly 7 years. I guess this 7 year cycle stuff is for real. I love it. I’ve partnered up with a branding company who I’ll share about soon. They’re working hard to completely overhaul my beloved BLR website into the 2.0 version; cleaner, clearer, and even more alive.

This is big time.

I was going to wait to share this news until closer to launch date, but because of a text conversation today with a friend that made me smile huge, here we are. (Also, I’m awful at staying quiet when I am over-the-moon excited, anyway. I can’t believe I’ve made it this long!)

Aha moments

(My words are in the blue bubbles.)

If you’re still fighting hard to figure out what you love/who you love/how to love/what to do/where to go/how to be…keep fighting, you will figure it out! When you get “there” all battled and bruised from the fight you’ve put up, you will be so good and so happy you’ll be unstoppable. It will feel so much sweeter, I promise. Specific to my work/money life, I’ve been at the edge of feeling like a never going to figure it out nut job for years. No joke, it has been the most frustrating and often debilitating process of my life. I’ve lost friends, screwed up relationships, driven my family bonkers, bawled my eyes out, exhausted myself spinning in circles- you name it, but I’ve kept pushing because I’ve always believed, and boom! It happened. Timing/I was ready/A random chat with a stranger in a Starbucks- whatever the reason it is, my place has come and there ain’t no stopping me now, baby!

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO GIVE UP. Believe in yourself, know there’s a place for you and you are not a freak if you don’t have it all figured out- no matter what age you are. Carry on your fight, call me when you get to your place, and we will raise a glass together.

Go get ’em, tiger.

#FindYourFreedom #WorkThatMatters #Believe

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August 24, 2015 In Inspiration, North Carolina, Photos

hello (again, again) monday!

I’m on a bit of a Monday kick lately. A seize the day-let’s crush it-go get it-make it happen, kind of kick. Why not? Life is short- inspire yourself! I’m digging it. After a crazy busy work weekend, this Monday kicks off on an airplane to a week of fun and writing focus:

Travel

Besides family & friends, some of my favorite things include travel, chocolate, and wine, so I’m headed to get some of the best and I can’t wait. T-11 hours until I’ll be standing in fabulous company with a glass of liquid grape in my hand. Whoop!

This morning while a passenger behind me in line during check-in grumpily yelled at the ticketing agent, I chatted happily & laughed with the nice guy behind me. While groups of business people rushed to their gates, I stood in the sun-drenched windows, staring at the planes, daydreaming like an excited kid heading off to Disneyland:

Flight plan

I love airports; the people that are a little off their rockers, the chaos of air travel commuters, those with the thrill of the trip of a lifetime happening, the anticipation of going to see someone you love, the start of a new life adventure…all that energy and madness! (And people watching is the best, of course. Humans are never-fail entertainment and always interesting to study.)

Now boarding at gate A12…

How are you doing Monday?

#Travel #DontWait #LifeOutsideTheDroneZone

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August 13, 2015 In BLR Memorial Travel Scholarship Fund, BLR Play it Forward 2012, BLR Play It Forward 2013, BLR Play It Forward 2014, BLR Play It Forward 2015, Blue Lollipop Road Memorial Scholarship, grow, Inspiration, Links, Thank you, Travel, Vermont

go get ’em, girls!

I feel like such a proud Mamma today.

Long ago I hired a mousey, quiet, seemingly timid college kid named Crystal to work for me. I saw something special in her I knew for sure most people missed. In the 10+ years since then, I’ve watched her do amazing work in the communities she’s lived in and grow into this strong, intelligent woman who knows exactly who she is. She’s this perfect mix of sweet, kind, and silly, but serious and driven too. One of those watch out, you’ll never see me coming in all my awesomeness, but I’m going to continue changing the world into more of a positive place kind of people. She posted something on Facebook this morning about her new adventures on the west coast and a new job she’s starting. She decided she wanted to move there, made a plan and just did it. No surprise she’s already “making it”- she believes in herself and goes for it. Love that girl and her spirit. It has been an honor to tell her potential employers over the years they’d be fools not to hire her because she’s the best.

I got an email today from one of my BLR Play It Forward year #1 scholarship winners, Raheema. She graduated in June and told me she was going to SUNY Cortland in the fall. She’ll be majoring in athletic training, and doing indoor & outdoor track. Though I’ve only seen her in person a couple times since 2012, I can sense how much she’s grown and I have no doubt she will do amazing things. According to my hometown Mount Anthony Union High School 2015 yearbook, she’s Most unforgettable:

Unforgettable Raheemah

I agree! Another person I’ve been lucky enough to come across who embodies that undeniable zest for life that always makes everyone she meets, smile.

Then there comes other BLR Memorial Scholarship winners Mercedes Chen & Jami Mathers who came bounding into Willow Park last month for our Alumni Soccer Game portion of BLR Play It Forward, 2015 – with big grins, words of thanks, and gifts for me from their trips they took with their earned scholarship funds:

BLR girls

Unfortunately I didn’t get to spend but a few seconds with them as I was running around trying to make sure to cover all my event organizer bases, but I could feel from their thanks, and see from their excited faces in the short time we had together- their lives are never going to be the same. They’ve seen new parts of the world and new parts of themselves. That was precisely my hope, my biggest goal and dream when starting the Blue Lollipop Road Memorial Scholarship Fund.

Life gets crazy, It’s not always easy, there are good times and bad, and you wonder if you’re ever doing anything right. Then days like today happen and you truly feel the gift that it was indeed possible you made a positive difference in someones life. This is a beautiful feeling.

I’m so proud of these young ladies, so thankful to all the ladies in my life, (some still on this earth, and some in  other places), who’ve inspired and supported me always. I can’t wait to do more to give back for all that’s been given to me.

#Unforgettable #PlayForwardGiveBack #Believe

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August 12, 2015 In BLR Memorial Travel Scholarship Fund, BLR Play It Forward 2015, blue lollipops, Inspiration, Links, North Carolina, Strong Mojo

rolling with the mojo

I should add “can take photos while driving” to my resume.

Ok- maybe not.

Wouldn’t you know it, right after I wrote this yesterday, about my Mojo Warrior friend, I pulled onto the street and right behind this license plate!

Street Mojo

If you’ve been around the land of Blue Lollipop Road, like- ever, you know that Mojo is is my jam, the magic, the bomb. It’s even tattooed on my body:

Blue Lollipop Tattoo

…so imagine my happy surprise to drive right behind that car. I never spotted a plate like that in all my years as a road warrior. (And I spent a lot of years on the road!)

Pure coincidence? Irony? Meant to be? Hmmm…

I’ve been talking a lot about Mojo flowing over the past month, for many reasons and especially after our awesomely successful 4th Annual BLR Play It Forward Event. Indeed it is my friends. Let it flow. Someone is buzzing around to remind us that Mojo always wins.

#StrongMojo #Signs #GameOn

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August 11, 2015 In Inspiration, Live the life you want to live, Photos, Quotes, Today Is The Day

we are only fools if we stay afraid

A voicemail just came in from a friend I haven’t talked with in quite a while. A cheery long message that made me smile, including “Peacock! (my last name in case you didn’t know) “I appreciate your tenacity!”

I went to my iPhoto for an image I remembered taking when I was in Alaska 5 summers ago thinking It’d be funny to share here, illustrating sassy bad-assness & tenacity- then immediately thought of something else. Mind shift and a few minutes of scrolling later, I ran across this random scribble from an old Moleskin notebook:

Dare to dream

I can’t remember if that date is when I wrote this or when someone else sent this quote to me.

I spent time with a very special person yesterday, a very tenacious person who’s very sick, but definitely being nothing but positive about getting better. (I’ve got nothing on tenacity compared to this guy.) Impressive and humbling are not even the words. You think you get it, have respect, or appreciation for a situation, then you spend a couple hours staring straight into the face of a fight you can’t in the slightest, imagine taking on. You think you’re strong & mighty, then you see someone who just blows your mind having the strength in spirit that could crush a concrete wall with the brush of a fingertip. You think you’re spending your time wisely, and realize you could be spending it even more wisely.

Perspective.

Lucky me to spend time with someone who might be afraid, but would never let himself stay that way if so- because tenacious is the only way to be. I am forever inspired.

Be tenacious, people. Be tenacious. Be unafraid to look like a fool for love, for your dreams, and for the adventure of being alive.

#TodayIsTheDay #GameOn #MojoAlwaysWins

***(My wonderful friend Laura called me after posting this and reminded me the above was an excerpt from The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, and she read it at her wedding. Love that.)

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