Of course I chose FREEDOM:
…and I will keep this little tab of paper forever:
free·dom noun ˈfrē-dəm
1 : the quality or state of being free: as
a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence
c : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken
“If you’re not living on the edge- you’re taking up too much space.”
Yet another day, and another person in my life who inspires me to write, write, write.
This mornings unplanned conversation at random was with a friend much younger than me. I met her when I lived in Chicago. I had sent her a quick drop in “hello” text as I was sipping my coffee, and that one liner set off a text-athon. This friend of mine is intelligent, fun, driven, healthy, and gorgeous. She has friends and family that lover her. She “has it all” so to speak. The problem is that right now her world is apparently looking a bit like a black hole rather than her oyster. She’s in that college is soon to end, and “I’m not like everyone else” place. The world around her is pushing her to “figure out” what she wants to do and who she wants to be for “the rest of her life.” God forbid students these days take a minute (say a Gap Year) or few months to breathe and think before they decide on the “rest” of their lives. My friend isn’t being unrealistic having fantasies of joining Ringling Brothers as the best ever trapeze girl, she just needs a little more time to get to know herself. I get all fired up when I hear that amazing “kids” think they’re broken or wrong because they don’t have a clear cut, definitive game plan to the rest of their days on earth.
Here we go.
What I told her:
Girllll…I hate to break it to you (and you are smart enough not to need my advice or thoughts) but you won’t figure out exactly what you want for the rest of your life. Ever. It’s impossible! People are like fruit, we grown and change every day. How in the hell are you supposed to know what you will want in 10 years? Are you the same exact person as you were 10 years ago? Sure you might have the same habits and quirks and personality traits, but you will never be exactly the same one year to the next – let alone in 10. You likely will enjoy similar things and people, continue to be good or better at the same things you spend your time practicing, and It’s very possible you might even love your favorite boots just the same, but most of the rest will change- trust me.
I’m near 35, and no genius- but I am someone who’s busted my ass, done a lot of shit (technical terms of course) in a LOT of places. I’ve observed humans from streets to dinner tables, in Maine to Montana and in The Cook Islands all the way to India. I’ve talked about, meditated on, practiced at, and written incessantly to find out “whats wrong with me?” too- and the answer is nothing. People will always try to fix you (like they have tried to fix me) – but YOU ARE NOT BROKEN! Life is not about doing or being ONE thing. It’s about the FEELINGS you want to feel every day and the PEOPLE you spend your time around and the THINGS that make you have fire inside to stay motivated and positive. There’s not one definitive answer you will find that will ever give you the ability to map out your perfect road of life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either 1.) Crazy or 2.) Unrealistic and likely very imbalanced themselves.
Then she told me she has planned to go away alone for a week.
Awesome!
I continued:
Solo travel is the best way to clear your head, escape “the noise” and find your inner badass. It builds confidence and independence like nothing else. Most people are afraid to go away alone because they are afraid of what they will “see.” Good for you- you will love it! I can’t wait to hear about it when you get back.
Then we wrapped the conversation with a virtual high five and wahoo! Fly your freak flag loud and proud sister! You are just fine and perfectly normal actually.
Amazing. (Insert frustrating fist pumps in the air.)
I’ve had these conversations over and over again. They are always enlightening but simultaneously maddening, especially when a perfectly wonderful innocent much younger than I am person- who is one of those stand up people that are hard to come by and you would love at any time to be around because they are simply amazing- thinks there is something wrong with them because idiots who are suppressing their own thoughts and feelings are walking around judging and attacking on the streets of America. I want to find these people and choke (in the nicest possible choking way of course) every one of them. Particularly when these in my opinion idiots are “adults” old enough to know better.
Hey all you “adults” out there who are old enough to know better:
How about ENcouraging rather than DIScouraging? How about being supportive and accepting instead of disappointed? How about not bullshitting us about the realities of life? (Because we know better.) Have you looked around, or in the mirror lately while you tell us how we should be/live/think? Do you really like how you, yourself are being, living, thinking? That’s what we thought. We really wish you the best, but please stop barfing your own fears all over those of us who have worked our asses off not to have any because we have found there’s no reason to. We’re just trying to live happy and stay contributing non-toxic citizens thankyouverymuch.
To my sweet young friend who inspired this post today~
I am proud of you. Don’t ever question yourself for a second, you have heart, street smarts, drive, and integrity that most are to fearful to fully embody. You will always have a friend and supporter in me as long as you keep busting your ass to be true to yourself. I have not a doubt in my mind that everything you will do, precisely because of who you are– will be amazing.
~Your fellow freak of nature friend,
Diane
I live like I mean it by spending time doing what I love, and with people I love. In this next year, I hope that for anyone reading this- you too will jump all over those “things” and people you’ve been thinking about for a while now. The clock never stops ticking, no matter how hard we try to force it to, so carpe diem baby…carpe diem.
Happy New Year!
In finalizing mission and vision statements for the new BLR site, I ran across this that I haven’t read in a long while:
If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorrys” … But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.
I wander around alone in silence a lot.
I always feel incredibly powerful, capable, and hopeful when I take the time to.
People don’t believe me when I share that most of my hundreds of thousands of road miles have been spent in silence with only the sounds of the wind passing by my ears, but that’s the truth. There’s something that’s magical and empowering that happens when you let yourself wander and see your surroundings without interference.
Last week I was sitting at my desk, attempting to knock out a mile-long list of to-do’s and assignments and I was just not feeling in my groove. So? I got up and left my apartment to wander and get air in hopes for an energy boost. After a mile or two of walking, I became enamored with the bright sun, clouds, and blue sky reflecting off various buildings:
(…and some bright spring flowers too.)
I got that energy boost I hoped for and then some, to go back and knock out that pile of work I had. Quiet wander time relieves me when I am stressed, inspires me when I can’t seem to get creative, and it gives me giant injections of anything is possible feeling.
As adults, we don’t encourage or allow ourselves to be curious, or to wander to take in that zap of often needed healthy energy. Why? What’s the cutoff age for curiosity anyway? Why do we push kids to try, try, try everything, explore that field of flowers, play that game for hours, or look up at that plane in the air to imagine where it’s going, but never look up at it ourselves?
Blue Lollipop Road promotes travel for education and self-empowerment. When we allow ourselves to be curious and wander (aka travel), we learn heaps of valuable information, and we become incredibly smart, resourceful, confident, and self aware. (Talk about a rock-solid foundation to build off!) Travel doesn’t have to mean far off lands around the globe. It could simply mean just getting up and out of whatever place you’re sitting in when you feel like you’re not growing or being productive. Just taking some time to step out and feel passion or re-energize. Like I did last week when I took this photos.
All who wander (and let themselves be curious) are definitely not lost.
As I’ve been working with my talented, patient, and generous web guy Bobby sending him information, photos, links, etc. for the BLR face lift we are doing, I found this link from A Skirt! Magazine issue I was featured in before I drove to Alaska.
My, my, the things that have happened since this photo and article. Oh the places we have been.
This BLR-mobile got different license plates, added branding on the bumper, it drove all the way up to the Gateway to the Klondike:
…and went through the Inside Passage of The Last Frontier, then all the way down the west coast spending nearly 5 months total on the road with an extended work stay in Napa, back east, then a move to Chicago, travels back east again, back to Chicago, back east once more and just back to Chicago this week. (With so much in between.)
Phew!
I don’t think I’ve ever shared here after that Skirt! photo shoot, I left the east coast headed for Alaska with only $600, a fresh oil change, a few paper maps, and all my belongings in the trunk. (As in everything I owned.) If you do any sort of calculations on mileage and gas, $600 is not even enough money for gas to get to Alaska let alone any other expenses. I made it there and back and then some as listed above because at the time I wanted to make that journey happen so badly I would’ve walked there if I had to. Not only was I safe, happy, and did I have an amazing time, but I didn’t have to walk there. Why? Because along the way things just happened.Â
It’s so fun to look back and have those hell yeah- I did that! moments.
When you take a step towards life (and work your ass off) the universe responds. That is no joke, and this photo above is a perfect example. There are no secrets or superpowers I have that you don’t have too.
Is there a “place” that you want to be so badly, you’d be willing to walk there? What’s holding you back from starting that walk?
This calls for a little Dr. Seuss moment:
Oh the Places You’ll Go:
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
You’re right Dr. S!
We have brains in our heads, we have feet in our shoes, and we can steer ourselves in any direction we chose!
…for all the unplanned and totally random, awesome connections and moments I have made while working from their billion locations.
Just now, business guy next too me updating friend: “Yeah, so my son graduated and he’s on his way to Alaska. He wants to stay there for the summer and be a fisherman. My wife is kind of freaking out.”
Of course I invited myself to butt in the conversation with: “Let him! Oh my god! Please! It will be the coolest thing ever for him to experience and will make him a better human. I really believe that, I have done this for a long time, I am nearly 34. You can even call my mother- she will tell you that by me travel and trying new things- moving to where I’ve known very few people and very little about, has helped me become a most resourceful and overall badass fearless person. Isn’t that what every parent wants?”
Bam.
I’m closing my computer and walking out the door of Starbucks now. Thanks Starbucks.
Hey business suit guy with the kid who wants to go fishing~
If you love him and want him to become the best kid you could dream of- let him go! I promise you’ll never regret it and neither will he. if you are reading this , send me an email or note here. I love sharing my “road” resources and I know some amazing people from my time in Alaska. I’m happy to help!
Here’s to one life. Do it while you can…:)
Now there are some words to live by!
Thanks for being such an amazing person in my life G!
Check out my friend Sean, Founder of One Week Job:
Today is a prefect day for me to share this, as I have made a big decision in this theme of coming alive. I will share all about it here in 3 weeks, so stay tuned.
If whatever you are doing with your time isn’t making you come alive, the time is now to make a change.
Thanks for being an awesome inspiration Sean!