December 22, 2010
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To call me impatient is an understatement. I like to be a mover and shaker and think my pace is normal because, well- am me. I have been told I talk to fast. (Again, normal to me, but my Mother who is laughing reading this right now has told me on several occasions that after 32 years she still cannot understand me on the answering machine. Yes, the ‘rents still have an answering machine.)
The one thing I have been patient with is this blog. If you know me personally you know that I have often said I don’t want babies. Who knows if that will change in the future. All I know is Blue Lollipop Road has been my baby for well over 2 years now. The way Mothers feel about their children I feel about this “little one” in my life: It means everything to me, I love it more than anything even when it is broken and bruised. Even when I am frustrated with it, and I have one of those “What the heck am I getting out of this deal again?” kind of moments- I still love it and don’t care how hard, confusing, or endless the water treading feels. I refuse to give up because I feel hope, I see all the potential and trust that if I give all the love and truth I am capable of, it will grow up to be magical.
Even though I trust all the above, like a Mother looking at their child on graduation day with that “I knew she could!”- there is a simultaneous: “Holy bleep! Is this really happening? Did she really make it here like I knew she would???!!!” This is how I am feeling now. There are a whole lot of little things brewing, coming together and presenting themselves in the result of “raising” Blue Lollipop Road to be something. It feels surreal, there is crazy momentum and I feel like I am flying. Every teeny little thing in the right direction fuels my fire to go more and I am so excited I cannot even explain it. I just got this email from a friend I haven’t seen in about 3 years and that I talk to rarely:
You know…I just learned that my wife regularly checks your blog. She is more aware of what you are doing these days than I am! By the way, she says you are a good writer. You should try to turn your blog into a book. Sort of an autobiography. Start talking to little guy publishers. While your writing is fantastic, you’ll need an editor to get it into book format.
As much I have more confidence than some, I still scoff at the amount of people complimenting my writing. I guess it’s hard to take that compliment when you feel like you are just a girl babbling about everyday life. I am learning to take compliments like these with a smile, giving myself credit for “raising a good kid” and trying to accept all the good things that seem to be flooding in with a furry recently.
What’s that they say, be careful what you wish for, ’cause you just might get it?
I told you I had some surprises to share. There’s more to come. I wish I could reach out and smooch every one of you readers who check in here every day and have followed me through this all. Thank you thank you thank you. I will have more surprises for you soon!
