October 10, 2010
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I wrote a few days ago that I was totally annoyed and pissed off, so instead of punching a wall, I was going to go for a run. I do that a lot. I went for that run, put the smile back on my face and kept swinging the bat. That’s life right? Fall down, get up, get really pissed, keep trying and “it will all work out.” I really do believe that. That whole quitters never win thing? Yeah, I completely think that’s true. Sometimes though, things just build and build and then you want to punch a wall and scream FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!! to the high heavens.
That’s how I felt when I woke up this morning.
I didn’t write yesterday when I was feeling pissed off. I am all about shitty days, accepting and understanding when you feel like garbage. That’s normal. If something in life isn’t working, we all have the right to vent in whatever way works for each of us. As much as I say that, the last thing I have ever wanted to be is a complainer. I haven’t wanted this to be a bitch blog, or become that person who pisses and moans and never gets off their ass to fix a problem. We all know we don’t want to be around that kind of bad energy. Moreover, I generally do not feel sorry for anyone who just complains and sits on their ass. In fact I find that really friggin’ annoying. I mean, people who don’t have effing legs run marathons- get off your ass and do something complainers.
Why am I so pissed off and why do I have the desire to punch a wall this weekend? Because sometimes I feel like I do EVERYTHING BUT sit on my ass, and STILL things don’t click or move. In this particular case, what’s pissing me off is work, as in- a job, a way to make money, a way to pay bills.
For anyone who talks about some bullshit that the economy is bad, there are no jobs, no opportunity, etc., this is simply NOT the case. I have never in my life had more people offer to help or connect me, seen more “we are hiring” signs, been asked to send my resume, invited to interview, networking events- all that stuff. It’s out there for the taking. I’ve answered all that by putting a smile on my face, dressing my not so ugly body in killer outfits, I’ve shaken hands, kissed babies, worn “I’m a badass chick” heels and practically flown into meetings in a hot air balloon to multiple spots/places/businesses to try and get a job. I’ve gone to places and met with people who “desperately need help.” I’m overqualified for most positions. This is not a case of “we aren’t hiring at this time” or “I’m sorry, you have don’t have enough experience for this job.” Quite the opposite. The straight and dirty is this: I have found people and businesses to be totally inconsiderate by not returning calls or communication when they say they will. They also all seem to move at a freaking snails pace. I’m going on 5 weeks here. (By the way, for everyone out there who says things like, “these things take time, be patient, it will all come, etc- give me a goddamn break. Yeah, “it will come” when I’m 90 or when the bank repo’s my car. Jesus christ already- please stop saying those obvious and annoying, patronizing statements in an attempt to make us feel better. It doesn’t work.)
What person or company in their right mind, that “desperately” needs help either A.) Never calls back even though they tell you they will or B.) Would be willing to let a person like me (32, single, experienced, honest, reliable, driven, smart, energetic, DYING to work 90 hours a week, who has a laundry list of references and will even scoop shit with a smile) out of their sight without hiring them on the spot?
I have had COUNTLESS conversations with educated, amazing, experienced 30-somethings who are in the same boat as me in this. If I had my own business, I’d kill to have kick-ass 30-somethings that are out there unemployed crushing it in my company.
So what gives?
***Please note here that I take FULL responsibility for myself and I first and foremost think the what could I have done better? What could I be doing wrong? I even ask friends and mentors. Then, when all lights seem green and things STILL aren’t working? -Yeah, I want to punch a fucking wall. (Ok, so not really, but it makes me infuriated confused.)
This is why I have said for years that I want to work for myself.
Do I think I am the smartest, coolest, best ever or have a killer product? No. Do I think I know more and am some kind of business whiz? No. Do I want to struggle to build everything from the ground up, pay for my own health insurance forever and never get a paid vacation? No, but I do want to just fucking work a job that I can use my experience and talents for and in turn be paid and respected. These opportunities don’t seem to exist in America, or I am looking in the wrong 50 states.
It all leaves me baffled, disappointed, and with little faith in EVERY one/thing/business out there. Perhaps this is a sign for me to gather all those 30-something’s. We will band together and create a business that kicks everyone else’s antiquated and inconsiderate, unorganized ass. Green Eggs and Ham says: “I will not, will not anywhere!” Well, I am: “I will I will! and ANYWHERE!” and still no takers. That deserves a giant WHAT THE FUCK.
(Wow, it’s a good thing I’m not religious. A Sunday post like this full of cuss this and that would surely land me in hell otherwise:)
To people and businesses out there missing out on the 30-something talent that’s available like me and so many others, who want to bust our asses for you: Congratulations. You are idiots. To people or businesses in any city, state, country who want young blood ready and willing to crush it and make YOU money. Send me an email (dianeATbluelollipoproadDOTcom) or post a comment here and I will send you my resume and laundry list of experiences and references. Clearly I JUST WANT A FUCKING JOB and I know a big ol’ list of others like me ready too.
I could always start seriously considering prostitution. I mean, I am really friendly so I’d probably do well.
I know- GASP!-right? By now you are probably rolling your eyes, shaking your head and mumbling something like “My god this girl thinks she’s going to get someone to give her a job after writing something like this and using the word fuck 100 times?” or “No wonder she can’t find a job with a mouth like that!, she must be crazy!”
Yeah there’s a time and a place for everything, but I also think it’s perfectly acceptable to be no bullshit.
I love having a blog.
